Supporting Military Mommas This Mother’s Day

Posted on: May 5, 2017  |  Posted in: Community Blog

Mother’s Day is coming soon. As a military spouse, my husband has missed more holidays and birthdays than I count. But somehow him missing Mother’s Day seems like especially cruel joke. This is supposed to be my day; a day dedicated to pampering and breakfast in bed and maybe a couple hours of quiet time to myself. Not a day to again be the sole caregiver holding tight to my daughter as we both wish for Daddy to come home.

Don’t get me wrong…I LOVE being a mommy to my beautiful baby girl. But parenting by yourself ain’t for sissies. 

SAN DIEGO (Aug. 4, 2011) Yeoman 2nd Class Victoria Kent reunites with her son after a five-month deployment aboard the amphibious dock landing ship USS Cleveland (LPD 7). Cleveland took part in Pacific Partnership 2011, which provided humanitarian aid to several isolated Pacific nations. (U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Jason Behnke/Released)

Mother’s Day is bittersweet for so many military spouses like me who are missing the other half of their parenting team. Or on the flip side, the mom who’s stuck out to sea or half a world away wishing anything she could hold her beautiful babies in her arms. And then there’s the moms who have lost their children to these wars. This day is painful for them in a way that not many of us can understand. I weep at the thought of it.

Oftentimes I hear from non-military friends that they want to support, but they just don’t know how. That makes sense. This life is so difficult to understand for those who have never served. The military community in itself is extremely supportive and they “get it” in a way that my civilian friends just don’t.  But, this Mother’s Day I thought I’d share a few thoughts on how you can help the military mommas in your life:

For the Military Spouse:

  • Offer to babysit so mom can go workout or have a spa day or even just read a book in a quiet house
  • Buy her a gift, send her flowers or help the kids make her a card
  • Invite her and the kids to your Mother’s Day brunch or festivities
  • Just. Be. There. It gets lonely parenting by yourself and sometimes all you need is some adult conversation


For the Active Duty Mom:

  • Send her a video of the kids wishing her a Happy Mother’s Day and telling her what they can’t wait to do when she gets home. You can try to schedule a video chat if she’s able or simply film it and save it to a flash drive or CD
  • Send a care package. You can buy a flat rate box at the post office and fill it up with things she loves! Amazon also ships to APO/FPO addresses. Don’t forget pictures of the kids, handmade cards
  • Set up a fun day for her and the kids when she returns so they can celebrate Mother’s Day all over again.

For the Mom of a Deployed or Fallen Service Member:

  • Offer words of kindness and support. You might not understand what they’re going through, but you can offer to sit with them through their pain
  • Bake them a meal or send flowers to let them know you’re there
  • Invite her to your Mother’s Day event or offer to keep her company doing whatever it is she wants to do

No matter what you do the most important thing is to do something to show your support and appreciation for all they do – both as a mom and as one who serves.

This Mother’s Day, let’s all shower the military mommas in our life with a little extra love.


Bio on Author:

Kat Brown is a nonprofit professional with over 6 years of experience in community outreach and event management. She has a passion for connecting like-minded individuals to spark collaboration and drive social change. She currently serves as the Community Engagement Specialist for the San Diego Military Family Collaborative, an initiative of SAY San Diego. A military spouse herself, she enjoys giving back to the community and helping families navigate the unique challenges military life brings. Brown is a proud alumni of North Carolina State University (Go Pack!) and mom to a beautiful little girl. For more information connect with her on LinkedIn.